In retrospect, I knew this was coming. Maybe that’s defeatist, maybe it’s realistic. But it’s November 29 and my word count is 26,503, where it’s been stuck for the past week. Middles are always hard, worse this time because I’m trying to Frankenstein together a draft of #sadbisexualbook from a first draft I wrote before I got an agent.
So I think I knew I was going to give up on NaNoWriMo this year. Maybe in the back of my mind, I knew. Because the sun sets at 5pm now and because finals fell right at the middle of November and because during Thanksgiving I went home and did nothing and because again, the sun sets at 5 and I kind of do, too. Between classes and work I don’t get home until it’s dark, and with SAD that’s really kind of awful for my productivity.
But now I’m accepting it. It’s okay to give up on winning NaNoWriMo. It’s better for me, too, if I don’t put that pressure on myself to write 24k in two days. I have 26k more words than I would have if I hadn’t tried NaNo this year. Just changing my Scrivener deadline from November 30 to December 30 and watching my daily word count go from 5000 to 600 is a relief.
I’ll keep writing for the next few days; I’m not giving up that. I’m just giving up the pressure I’d put on myself to get to 50k before then. I’m just circumstantially not capable of finishing NaNo this year, and that’s okay. Because I did write. I got together with friends and wrote, and I fell back into a story I’m excited about.
So if you’re giving up with me for whatever reasons, I’ll have a bottle of wine with you. If you’re winning NaNo or have already won NaNo, congrats! It’s a difficult achievement and I’m proud of you.
And hey. There’s always next year.